Reality check on domestic violence

Violent wives and meek husbandsA survey to straighten issues!

… that’s what men’s organisations in the city are now looking to conduct

~ MANIGANDAN K R. Times News Network

Seeking to counter certain “exaggerated” claims made by some women’s organisations and in a bid to draw the attention of the government to the plight of men victimised by lop-sided laws drafted on the basis of such claims, men’s organisations in the city have now embarked upon the task of conducting a massive domestic violence survey.

The results of the nationwide survey, widely believed to be the first of its kind for men in the country, will be used to find out if whether Indian men too are victims of domestic violence, the percentage of Indian men subjected to such violence and the kind of violence they are subjected to.

The need for the survey has been triggered, it seems, by the controversial Domestic Violence Act – 2005, which seems to have been drafted on the assumption that only women suffer domestic violence.

Says Suresh Ram, member of the All India Men’s Welfare Association (AIMWA), an NGO working for the rights of men and boys, “Certain women’s organisations have been stereotyping the issue of domestic violence. They have presented a picture that conveys the impression that only women are victims of domestic violence while we have with us global surveys and over 250 scholarly studies that show that women are at least as likely as men to engage in partner aggression and that partner violence is often mutual. This fact is established if one goes through the Domestic Violence Study conducted by a well-known global organisation that has done the survey in over 32 countries including India. However, the Domestic Violence Act in India offers protection to only women and not men.”

He further adds, “So, to set things right, we men’s organisations have joined hands to ensure that a credible and transparent survey on the issue is done. Eight men’s organisations are involved in this effort which is being led by the AIMWA. We have begun negotiations with survey agencies to conduct the survey in certain cities of the country including Chennai, Delhi, Kolkata, Bangalore and Hyderabad. We intend to publish the results on Nov 19, the International Men’s Day.”

So, what do they intend to achieve by conducting such a survey? Says Suresh, “We intend to create an awareness in society about the problems faced by men. We wish to present to them the real situation in society. We will also seek to draw the government’s attention to issues concerning men and reiterate our demand for setting up a National Commission for Men and a Men’s Welfare Ministry.”

Men in the city are delighted with the move by the men’s organisations. Welcoming such a survey, Shankar, a graphics designer, says, “I certainly welcome the move. It is high time that facts were presented on this issue.”

Women too seem to be for such a survey. Says Dakshayini Sampath, a media professional, “While I think that more number of women suffer domestic violence, it’s also possible that men are victims. I think the law should hold good for both genders and if this survey is going to help bring about a uniform law, then I’m all for it.”

News courtesy: Chennai Times.

9 thoughts on “Reality check on domestic violence”

  1. how to protect myself from wife :

    she had left my house wihout my consent.
    Since 2 months there is no communication
    she created a scene before leaving damaging herself and stating it as harm done by me.

    what are the solutions and remedies ……..please suggest

    1. It’s certainly good to discover a great little blog like this where we all can chat about private problems without fear of ridicule. I know some of my friends will definitely be relieved when I tell them all about it as well

  2. You really wanna protect yourself from your wife then do this get (fake) affair with any other women use her to make your wife jealous as in the nature of one’s women feel jealous of other women.

    1. Try to call all the relatives ask them if they know about where she is ,you must pretend you are loving and caring husband try to get good amount of witness like neighbors relatives.

    2. Get yourself good advocate tell him about the condition dont fall completely for his/her advice just get some tips what to do and apply for anticipatory bail, Get it for all members of your family.. ( just in case your wife file 498a against you and your parents).

    3. Make a solid proof you are not living with your wife and she left the home without telling anyone and didnt call you for 2 months.

    3. Send her a notice when she comes back like please come back home soon where are you… ;like that

    4. IF she comes back good for you but if she wont and file FIR against you under 498a and dowry do the following.

    Start gathering evidences in the form of letters, photos, videos and witnesses.

    If possible provide money to your wife via cheque , keep a copy of the cheque with you

    Write registered letters to DGP of your state,Mahila Commision,etc. and keep a copy of them with you – this will save you from arbitary arrest

    Apply for anticipatory bail. Get it for all members of your family.

    This is a criminal case; get a criminal lawyer with a good reputation, not a divorce lawyer.

    Talk to people around you , send email to tv channel like aajtak,ibnlive ,etc.

    Have at least Rs 50000/- cash with you.

    In the event of an arrest and bail being denied by the lower court, file 3 applications for regular bail in the lower court, district court and the High Court

    Talk to people who have already undergone false 498a harrasment.

    You need to start treating your spouse like an enemy. Any weakness shown will cost your dearly.


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